choke.on.world

I really don’t update this because I am too busy loving life in Korea. But wanted to post an obligatory - I’m still lurking on you Korea posters because I love you and have learned so much because of you! xoxo from ChangDong

So, I put my two weeks notice in at work this morning.

I told my boss yesterday I would be quitting. It was a brief phone call that didn’t allow for a lot of explanation. I felt really crappy after. I was suddenly consumed with anxiety about moving, giving up a secure, well-paying job in a city that I love. Having spent most of my youth living abroad it wasn’t the whole ‘move’ so much that scared me but the fact that it was up to me to decide if I wanted to do it. Taking a step like abandoning the job I had worked to hard to get made me intensely question my decision about going to Korea. I began to seriously wonder whether or not I was making a huge life mistake. In the months to come would I terribly regret this decision, because in the end, there would be no one to blame but myself. Suffice it to say, I didn’t really get that much sleep last night.

So I came into work preparing for the worst. A one on one meeting to discuss why I am leaving. I was petrified. I really enjoy where I work, its a great office, I don’t feel like I have sold out to some evil corporation and generally like the atmosphere here. I also really like my boss and I knew that quitting would probably be a huge inconvenience to her - especially during the holidays. Alas, whats done is done. She couldn’t have been nicer and more understanding about the whole thing. I was really put at ease and instantly stopped second guessing my decision.

I have always been terrible at making major decisions. When I graduated from College two years ago it took me months to decide where I wanted to live, what I wanted to do, what would make me happy. I live in fear not of the unknown but of regret. I hate the feeling of making a bad decision that could have been prevented with better judgment. As time goes on though, I have realized that regret can be a very fleeting emotion. At a low point it can consume you and at a high point it can motivate you beyond anything else. I just have to keep reminding myself of this :)

So now that the major stress of quitting is over I am feeling SO much better. The excitement has returned and I am really ready to get on with it already. I have known since I graduated that before I go back to grad school I wanted needed to spend some more time living abroad. So yay, only four weeks left until I have finally made that happen :)

Were talking about a world-class nutjob here...

Got incredibly lost trying to find the place which is ridiculous because I literally work 4 blocks away. Oh well. Interview was fun, I actually had a really good time. I especially appreciated being asked about my ‘feelings on the upcoming royal wedding’. Excited and jealous of course.

I also broke the news to one of my coworkers today which was a relief. I have been harboring this secret for weeks now. I have been planning on putting my 2 weeks in the Monday after Thanksgiving for a while and its been tricky quasi-committing to Holiday parties etc. Oh well, adventure awaits.

Interesting premise...

Not a game player but couldn’t help but be intrigued by the description of this upcoming game. Too bad its not a book or something.

Visa number has arrived. Its all really happening. Now all I have to do is go to the Korean Consulate next week and then book flights. I am glad there isn’t a super quick turn around though. After all the arrangements are made I can chill and  breeze through the holidays before departing for Korea at the end of December. I use ‘breeze through’ quite loosely as I am sure it will be nothing but chaos. The good kind of chaos though.

Although I am super excited for Korea that twinge of sadness is starting to creep in. Chicago has treated me pretty well. I find myself taking the 143 bus home so I can watch the lake go by on Lake Shore on my way home from work. Such is life though and I think my particular fondness for Chicago right now is the fact that it is 65 degrees in November. Come frigid morning walks to the L and the insane pre-holiday work load and I will be counting down the days…

But for now…

See you December 28th Seoul!